TO YOU, FROM ME

To the girl who smiles a shy smile every time she finds herself in her favourite novel, in an article about people who love too much, in a poem some great artist wrote centuries back for his beloved. To the girl who has been broken, hurt, wounded but still believes in true love, who watches sunsets and imagines herself taking a long walk on the beach with the man of her dreams. To the girl who is tired of explaining to everyone that wanting love is not a sign of weakness.

To the girl who doesn’t put make up but defends her sisters who do, to her who will give you her hair tie even if she has only one. To the girl who wants to work, who wants to win, but when she does, she first hugs everyone who didn’t, and then everyone who told her she couldn’t win. To the girl who doesn’t pester you for good night or good morning texts but if you like to receive them, she has an abundance of love to send through texts, calls and prayers.

To the girl who knows she is hated by many but forgives anyway, who knows she isn’t perfect but tries anyway. To her, who will keep loving you if you don’t want her but only from a distance, and when you call her three months later in the middle of the night telling her you miss someone, she won’t even ask who that someone is. To the girl who heals with her words. She will talk to you, and make you laugh, she will remind you of happy times and fairy lands till you are overcome with sleep. To her, who stays up after the call wondering who that someone was.

To the girl who knows there is no space for her in the world but is bent on making one. To her, who won’t push you to the side but will gladly step back if you love her. To her who wants her space in hearts more than on land and has enough laughter and kindness to spread in the air. To the girl who works at nights because she knows she can’t be afraid of darkness. To her who sets on to colour each cloud at night, one stroke at a time- white, yellow, pink, blue, so when you wake up you look up at the rainbow and smile. To the girl who lives for smiles.

To the girl who knows the right thing but doesn’t spend time explaining it to everyone. To her who gives everyone time to know, understand and come back to her. To you, who never shun anyone away, even when they’re not sorry. To you who say sorry not because you’re wrong but because you want to make space in your head for brighter things.

Much has been said about you and to you. I’m sure people have tried to assure and reassure you about how perfect you are in your imperfections, how it’s okay to not be so perfect. They have hugged you and repeated to you time and again that they love you for who you are, even if you’re not what they want. Your skin has been caressed, your nerves have been touched, your lips have been kissed. I hope your heart has been hugged too. If it isn’t, here’s your hug. 

I’m sorry I’m bad at consolations. I’m sorry I can’t wipe your tears and tell you you’ll be okay. But you know what, I don’t need to. I’m not here to apologize. I am here to thank you. I’m here to thank you for all the sparkle you carry in your eyes. Every time I look at you in a busy metro train going to work, I smile a little brighter. Thank you for painting my days yellow when they start with grey. I want to thank you for all the kindness you carry on your lips and let fall, petals from a rose who might be hurting inside but only leaves love and a loving red. Thank you for all the devotion you carry in your fragile hands, never once shaking when you hold someone up. I know how tightly you cross your fingers before important announcements. Thank you for never letting common people like us down. I hope every time you cross your fingers, you win. I hope every time you hold someone’s hand, you never have to leave. Thank you for all the abundance you carry in your heart. An abundance of energy you store in one chamber for the kids you meet on streets and ask to recite mathematical tables before you kiss their cheek. An abundance of joy you store in chamber number two for your grandparents and give to them when you see the longing in their eyes, waiting for you to return from office and sit with them to give them office gossip about people they will never know. I know how you have to take a deep sigh and check if you’re smiling wide enough before you enter your frail grandma’s room. Thank you for your joy, it makes her day a little better. Writing error: it is the only thing that makes her day. Thank you for an abundance of wisdom in chamber number three that comes out when you see your parents acting like kids. I know it’s too much to handle two middle aged kids with no sense of timing or place to fight, but I’m so glad they have you, as I’m sure they’re glad too. Thank you for an abundance of hope in chamber number four for every one you have never met but wish good luck from behind the blue curtain of social media. I hope your hope never empties, I hope all the brightness for you. Thank you for carrying a spring in your feet. Every time I look at you from my balcony, I go back inside renewed with energy and optimism. Thank you for making my evenings shine long after the sun has set.

To the girl who loves too deeply and lives too less, to the girl who dreams too much and sleeps too less, to the girl who writes too much and expresses too less, I am no one to tell you whether you’re perfect or imperfect or perfect with just a little imperfection. I am no one to tell you whether you should change or stay the same or go crazy. But the good news is, I am not here to pass judgments on you. I know you don’t like judging people. I am here to thank you for your existence and to wish for you all the sparkle, all the kindness, all the joy, all the love and all the life.

Thank you, you.