THERE'S NOTHING HERE TO FIX

Hey you, yes I’m talking to you- you, who stays up nights checking everyone’s Instagram stories and wondering why aren’t you as beautiful at 21 as that girl at 18. Dear you, who has been a part of only one college society and sink a little deeper in bed every time you see people’s never ending resume served to you on their Facebook profile. You, who look at girls wearing high boots in winters and wish your feet didn’t ache so much in boots so you could flaunt your ‘winter fashion’ too,

 Dear you, you’re perfect.

You are perfect with that pimple right in the centre of your cheek. You are perfect with your not so perfect make up skills and attempts at hiding that pimple. Your eye liner is not winged as sharp, but who ever said you need a perfectly winged eye liner to fly on those wings? I know you think you’re too skinny/ too fat/ too short but you know what else you are? You’re you. You’re the girl hidden in the doodles in your to-do list, you’re the laughter echoing in your room on a Wednesday afternoon re-watching your favourite film because you just didn’t feel like getting out of the bed today. You’re the tears in your mother’s eyes every time she watches an emotional mother-child scene and thanks God for giving her-you.

Your poetry writing skills may not be as good as everyone else around you, but you are not everyone else either.  You’re the metaphors in your incomplete poem crumpled between the folds of your favourite novel that you refuse to lend to even your best friend. You’re not the words you write, you’re the feelings that escape everyone’s understanding, and you know why you should not worry about it? Because its not their job. Its not their job to understand you, and you’re too full of colours for anyone to make an extra effort to carefully unravel each layer of your rainbow hued skin to reach your soul. But you, you are already there. You have seen your soul, haven’t you? Yeah, it’s a little too emotional at times- crying for a robot in star wars, smiling at that kid selling balloons on the road and wondering if he ever played with them too, your soul is a little too innocent-trusting every smile and smiling at everyone- everyone who says the word ‘forever’ in your ear, who whispers ‘love’ in your dreams that you half remember on waking up. Your soul is a little too forgiving- and forgetting. you love too much and then you forgive, so you keep loving them over and over again even when they have long forgotten you. You forget, but only the wrongs done to you. You forget the nights you hated yourself for not being who they want you to be, you forget the nights you did not want to be living in this body. You forget, and then you keep doing it-over and over again. Your soul is a little too remembering too, at times,  never able to wash away the black paint from those fifteen years old memories of that one night you played with your uncle’s toy. Your soul is a little too tired, of explaining to everyone why you stopped believing in true love, why you stopped believing in yourself, why you stopped believing in life, why you stopped believing that you deserved to live too.

But why? Why did you stop believing that you deserve to live too? Not as they define for you, not as they dictate you while chaining you and safely locking you inside the fort of their expectations. Stop turning and making it easy for them to chain you.  Stretch your arms and tell them you’re not a plastic doll. Take a deep breath and exhale so loud that they have to bow down to your existence.

You know your soul. You know yourself. Then why do you listen to them? Hey you, you don’t need me to tell you you’re perfect just the way you are. You know that well enough. You just need to remind your soul not to forget it. Not to forget itself.  Oh come on, you know what I’m talking about.

You’re imperfect, of course. I’ll believe if you say that. Everyone will believe if you tell them- isn’t that how we always teach others to look at us? By showing them exactly how we look at ourselves. Take a good look at yourself, you. Take a good look at your body and your colorful soul. And tell them (If they don’t listen, scream in their ears) to look somewhere else. There’s nothing here to fix.