WHEN I MET DRAUPADI

A Vast wasteland
Reeking of blood and betrayal
A Sight of barrenness
Emptiness
Smell of swords stabbing love
Of gushing out blood
Queens and princesses losing all that they possessed
Pride, nobility, dharma, mere metaphors
Of past celebrations, memories, time that passed
Teasing, never to return
Smiles that curved, drinks shared, gulped
With promises of ties and bonds,
Never to be undone
In the middle stands a woman
Or a silhouette of one
A frail shadow of a palace
A tinge of love lost in conceit
She smiles at me
Without a glint of happiness
There are no lines of joy near her eyes or lips
But there are wrinkles
Eyelids drooping of tiredness
There is an epoch around her eyes
One that made her blind
And snatched away that tinge of love
Fearfully, I hold her hand, and she shows me around
We walk over ants devouring at corpses
Spread around like colourful marbles
We’re blinded by pyre fires ever burning
Red and orange rising from them towards the west
We look over broken wheels and arrows
And  broken promises and families
To a setting sun
What are you waiting for?
I ask her
For this sun to set
For this day to end
I’ve been waiting for years now.
When will your wait end?
She smiles at me, but stays mum
What happened here?
War, she whispers.
Its happening
And it will never end.

MARITAL RAPE

Some nights, I wake up with a snake coiled around my neck. His grip is smooth. Soft, just like your hands. He is here to kill me; I am here to get killed. There are no pretensions anymore. Or I’m probably too familiar with his intentions now.  I am suffocated by the silky coil around my neck. He’s whispering in my ear. Coaxing me to submit. Your voice is still excited, urgent. I am dying but I am not struggling to live. When was I alive anyway?

Some nights, I wake up with a huge anaconda wrapped around my body. Gripping me in. Holding me down. I can’t move but he is moving all over my body. He caresses my thighs. His sharp teeth between my legs, tearing me apart, but holding me in my place. Your tongue, working its charm like it always did. I can sense his pleasure in his movements.  I’m controlled but I am not struggling for freedom. When was I free anyway?

Some nights, I wake up with a black snake around my face. My body is free, only my senses are not. I can’t see, I can’t hear and I’m not allowed to speak. I could move, but I have to be dumb. My body isn’t trapped, but I am. Both your hands holding my face, positioning me still. I am shut up but I am not struggling to speak. Who listens to me anyway?

Some nights, I am woken up by their hisses. They are all over my bed. All over me, under me, around me. Each one of them has eyes like yours. Charming, bright eyes that did me in. I am naked on such nights. Bared of emotions, of cries. I lay still. I don’t try to disturb them. I let them have their feast. When did I ever have my body for myself anyway?

Each night you return to me thus, and each night I let you in. Each night you love me, and I give in. Sometimes, Serpents are not scary. Adams are.